Love and partners: How has a co-parent supported your dedication to natural parenting — or not?
This is the second monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how a co-parent has or has not supported us in our dedication to natural parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
Parenting outside the mainstream can be a lonely ordeal. Choosing things for your family that those around you do not agree with or understand can sometimes make you fee as if you are swimming upstream.
Having a supportive partner can make it so much easier.
I have made choices for my children that family and friends disagreed with. Making choices that I knew in my heart were right for us was still difficult when I was surrounded by criticisms on all sides. Yet I had a partner beside me for each one. A partner who was willing to sit down, talk, listen, and try to understand where I was coming from. That has often meant all the difference.
When I wanted to change our eating habits away from the standard foods we had grown up on, he stood beside me in the face of “But you ate that and you’re healthy.” When I made the choice to give birth at home he told naysayers to be positive or be quiet.
He has provided more than just support, he has also been willing to talk to me about controversial topics with an open mind. Some subjects are considered dangerous or unhealthy immediately by the mainstream. He was willing to read what I was reading and discuss his thoughts and opinions with me. Having a serious conversation on natural parenting options rather than being blown off made me more serious about researching and learning more.
Not everyone has the luck to have a supportive and helpful co-parent. I am absolutely glad to have the good fortune to have met mine.
Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated Feb. 9 with all the carnival links, and all links should be complete and active by noon EST. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.)
- A Thank You to my Husband — Lactating Girl at The Adventures of Lactating Girl thanks her husband for keeping her grounded and giving her unwavering support in the face of discouragement from within and without. (@lactatinggirl)
- My Reverse Traditional Husband In the Wild — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries gives us a lesson on how dads in the wild parent their young. Can you guess which male animal actually nurses its young? (@babydust)
- TITLE — TopHat at The Bee in Your Bonnet tells us how the patience of a partner can make a difficult breastfeeding relationship succeed. (@TopHat8855)
- Parenting Together — For Alison at BluebirdMama and her husband, parenting is simply an extension of the way they live. (@childbearing)
- If We Had A MIllion Dollars — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! and her husband would both agree to be crunchier parents if they had a million dollars to ease the way. (@bfmom)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Co-Parents — Dionna at Code Name: Mama has written a letter to her husband, thanking him for his incredible support in every aspect of their natural parenting journey. (@CodeNameMama)
- Natural Parenting Fathers — Sarah at Natural Parenting is balancing being all there for her son with being present for her husband. (@considereden)
- Just Wonderful: Love and Partners and Natural Parenting — Zoey at Good Goog let her husband lead her to babywearing and cosleeping. (@zoeyspeak)
- All that stuff I don’t get comes so easy to him — The Grumbles is taking this opportunity to say thank you to her husband for his mad parenting skills. (@thegrumbles)
- The Power of Having a Supportive Co-Parent — Chrystal at Happy Mothering and her husband started with vaccinations and moved on from there. (@HappyMothering)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners — Lauren at Hobo Mama makes do with babbling incoherently about how her husband practices natural parenting in such an effortless fashion, with bonus video. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Love and Partners — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog shares her husband’s moving account of her birth story, and his testament to the power of a woman. (@myzerowaste)
- labor support… — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children is thankful that her partner has provided her immeasurable labor support through each of their last three unassisted homebirths (and will again for their upcoming fourth!).
- What co-parent? On prams, routines, ideals, sickness, and finding my way alone. — Ruth at Look Left of the Pleiades describes life without a present co-parent: making new choices and taking care of things herself. (@brightravenmum)
- Parenting With Support — How many people can say that their husband talked them into cloth diapering? Darcel at The Mahogany Way can! (@MahoganyWayMama)
- Co-Parenting Support — Summer at Mama2Mama Tips knows the importance of being supported in the face of criticism. (@mama2mamatips)
- Natural Parenting Carnival: Love and Partners — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has been blessed with an incredibly involved partner. Her husband loves to take part in every aspect of parenting! (@pchanner)
- Daddy’s Little Girls — Kate Wicker at Momopoly finds her husband right at home in a tangle of girls. (@Momopoly)
- How do I love my parenting partner? Let me count the ways. — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker is thankful that she and her partner co-parent fluidly and gracefully. (@mamamilkers)
- Interview with a Daddy — NavelgazingBajan brings us a highly amusing peek into her husband’s perspective.
- Being Supported in Natural Parenting — Sarah at OneStarryNight has witnessed both ends of the parenting spectrum, and is grateful she found a father who is comfortable with natural parenting. (@starrymom)
- Moments in time: a love letter — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick will make you cry with the beautiful way she describes the complete relationship between father and child. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Natural parenting converts — Jen at Recovering Procrastinator brought her reluctant husband around to cloth diapers, bed sharing, and time-ins as a discipline method. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Breastfeeding Father — Amber Strocel at Strocel.com describes how her husband helped her overcome the breastfeeding challenges she encountered with her premature daughter. (@AmberStrocel)
- A Natural Parenting Village — Acacia from Art, Body & Soul, in a guest post for Jamie at Suddenly Stay at Home, broadens the term “coparents” to embrace supportive extended family on both sides. (@SuddnlyStyAtHme)
- A Natural Dad — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest doesn’t have a husband who merely supports her — she has a husband just as dedicated to natural parenting as she is.
- Love and Support From My (sometimes pantsless) Man — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma describes life with the sometimes bumbling but always lovable Pantsless Man. (@kitchenwitch)
- G-O-T-E-A-M! — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile made sure her future husband agreed with her parenting choices early in their dating. (@tisworthwhile)
- how we come to parenthood — Michelle at womanseekingmother dances with her husband around the subject of cosleeping. (@seekingmother)
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9 Comments: Trackback URL | Comments RSS
February 9th, 2010 at 12:53 PM
I absolutely agree! I said in my post today that I love feeling “mainstream” in my own home – Tom makes me feel so supported and comfortable that I forget we are doing things differently from many people.
February 9th, 2010 at 3:38 PM
It is hard to have our parenting choices criticized by the people we love, whose acceptance we desire. Thank goodness for supportive partners!!!
February 9th, 2010 at 3:43 PM
I don’t think my husband has ever questioned one of my parenting choices. He trusts me implicitly and that kind of support gives me more confidence to keep learning and finding things that work for us. It’s a really great feeling.
February 9th, 2010 at 5:03 PM
What a lovely tribute! I agree – finding a supportive co-parent really is such a stroke of good fortune.
February 9th, 2010 at 8:49 PM
Like you, I’m thankful to have a husband who is 100 percent on board with my parenting decisions. I can’t imagine how tough it would be to be making a solo trek down this long and winding parenting road.
February 10th, 2010 at 10:26 PM
It’s so important to have someone on your side so you don’t feel so alone. I feel so supported in my home that when we meet with other parents, it comes as a surprise to me to remember I’m so bizarrely different.
February 11th, 2010 at 8:55 AM
Reading your post sparked an important conversation with my husband. I often get the feeling that he is resistent to the ideas that I am bringing to the table and I asked him why he seemed to initially dismiss me rather than listen to me. He felt that my delivery is too dogmatic–that I come to him with the attitude that what I am considering is the only way to do things and this is why he feels he must set up some opposition before we can really just discuss. This is a huge lesson for me and I so much appreciate your celebration of your partner’s open mind.
February 12th, 2010 at 2:19 PM
That is simply so true. There’s no way I could do this as ‘well’ as I’d like without my husband’s support. It’s hard enough when the people around you just dont ‘get’ it. I am always surprised at how ‘anti’ different people can be!
March 5th, 2010 at 10:54 AM
It is so great to have so much support. I love it when my husband proudly tells people we have homebirths, and homeschool.
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