Most mothers have been there at least once. You take the kids somewhere and suddenly someone needs to pee. Now you are faced with a common bathroom hurdle – take them all in with you, or leave them behind?
This is exactly what one mother faced when she stopped into a Starbucks with her 4 month old infant. When she needed to use the restroom she could either find someone who seemed trustworthy enough to watch her baby for a minute or attempt to maneuver using a toilet with a baby in her arms. This mom choose the first option, and shared her story on FreeRangeKids.
I am a first time mom to a now 4-month-old and I don’t sterilize his pacifiers when he drops them on the ground, I refuse to ever use a shopping cart cover, and a month ago, I did the unthinkable. I left my baby with a stranger while I used the bathroom at Starbucks.
Most people who have read the book Free-Range Kids or practice free range parenting see nothing wrong with this scenario. One of the most basic ideas is that parents should not live in fear of the statistically improbable. Despite the constant threats brought to us by most major news networks, the world is not actually full of scary people just jumping at a chance to harm a child. Most people are actually just like you and me.
What would you do in this situation? Would you find someone trustworthy to hold your child for a few seconds? Or would you bring your infant with you into the bathroom? What do you think of the idea of letting kids (and parents) be free?
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10 Comments: Trackback URL | Comments RSS
November 18th, 2009 at 10:02 AM
I probably would not have left my baby with a stranger, because I know that both of my kids would have panicked in that situation. They were both very attached to mom and very wary of strangers. I wouldn’t be scared of a stranger hurting or taking off with my baby. However, I wouldn’t want my child to be scared and feeling abandoned.
That’s why I usually wore my baby in a sling and got quite skilled at using the facilities while baby wearing.
November 18th, 2009 at 10:11 AM
I can’t imagine an everyday situation where I’d leave my infant with a stranger – I’d either be wearing them or they’d be asleep in the carseat carrier, which you can certainly carry into a bathroom.
Sure, it can be inconvenient to bring a young child into a public bathroom because you don’t want them to touch anything – but an infant? It’s just not that difficult.
I don’t think this has anything to do with not letting your child be free. Freedom to me means freedom for the child to make their choice – but an infant doesn’t get a choice in the above scenario; they aren’t even able to move themselves, let alone make a choice of who they’d like to be with while mom is in the bathroom – and I’d submit if they were given that choice, an infant would choose her mother over all.
Additionally, I’ll second what Annie said above, there’s no way either of my children would have been okay with me just handing them over to a stranger.
November 18th, 2009 at 10:13 AM
What Annie said.
Plus, Starbucks bathrooms are usually big enough to accomodate a stroller – at least the wheelchair accessible ones are…
November 18th, 2009 at 10:18 AM
I echo Annie’s sentiments exactly. I would likely bring my baby with me…mostly because I know she would cry if handed off to a stranger.
November 18th, 2009 at 10:56 AM
I don’t think I would have handed my baby over to a stranger because that’s just not the world we live in. Kudos to the mom who did it though. 99.9% of the population wouldn’t take a baby and think “Gee, I think I’m going to run right out of here now and toss this baby in my car and drive away and it’s all that stupid mom’s fault!” No. Most people would take the baby with a smile and sit there holding it freaking out about the possibility of the mom wondering if said stranger would do that. No one trusts each other anymore. It shouldn’t be like that, but sadly I think it is.
November 18th, 2009 at 11:00 AM
When my son was an infant he had an explosive poop that went all the way up his back at a resturant when I was traveling across the state with my two kids by myself. When I discovered it in the restroom, along with the fact that I left a change of clothes for him out in my car. I left him with a woman in the bathroom. I have recieved raised eyebrows and judgement in sharing that story, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
November 18th, 2009 at 11:38 AM
I couldn’t do it. My anxiety would get the best of me. There are other options – stroller, carrier, baby sling. However, if a mom asked me to watch their baby for a minute, I would absolutely be comfortable doing that, and would not judge her for it. I just personally wouldn’t be able to do it.
November 18th, 2009 at 1:39 PM
Why would you even think about NOT taking the baby with you into the bathroom? I didn’t understand that situation at all. LOL. I think the whole “free range” thing is a bit on the crazy side, but I’m not an attachment parenting type either. I’m somewhere in between, way more natural is how I see it. There’s just no reason to hand the baby to anyone just to go to the restroom.
November 18th, 2009 at 2:37 PM
I definitely do not agree with a mother handing her child over to a complete stranger just so she could use the bathroom. Infants aren’t supposed to be convenient, but they do need to be protected and should never be handed over to someone who is unknown to both mother and child!
November 19th, 2009 at 1:05 AM
Christine, I’ve thought about it. Why? Because where would I put the baby? On a dirty, nasty, covered in who knows what floor? I don’t have a stroller with me all the time, especially in situations such as this mother’s where she was traveling. Generally my baby is in my arms, which makes unbuttoning and pulling down pants rather awkward.
I’m curious how many who commented here negatively clicked over and read the entire thing?