Preparing for parenting does not end once the baby is placed in your arms. As children grow and change, what seems like daily, it helps to prepare as often as you can.
Each week we hold a family meeting. It is a time to discuss what happened in the last week and what we want to happen in the next. Beyond just plans and events, we also take the time to talk about the emotional health of our family. Our meetings are times to share our, and our children’s, expectations for the week and to share what we can do to meet those expectations thoughtfully.
As our children grow, we also have a private weekly discussion just between the parents. We talk about milestones and developmental stages that are coming up. It helps to be prepared together when a growth spurt is common in the baby. It also helps when one of the children starts acting out, if we can pinpoint it to a stage that is normal and then find ways to smooth the situation better.
We use our meeting time as an extra moment each week to bond, connect, and share. We give everyone a chance to communicate, in their own way. It may be just a comment about dinosaurs from the toddler, but giving him his own space to speak up opens the doorway for him to communicate with us later. Whatever they have to say is taken as important, even when we disagree with it. Disagreements often give us a chance to better explain a rule that we had assumed was explained enough already.
Though we try to maintain some sort of structure, it is important for us to let the kids know that at the meetings they have equal say. We are not the bosses or in charge of what is said. Some things might be written down to explore more later, but we make an effort not to brush aside their thoughts and feelings. This helps to keep the doors of communication open between us all.
A family meeting can benefit any family, big or small. Taking time specifically to share and talk helps to build bonds and foster attachment long after the cuddly baby stage is passed. We would be lost without it.
This post is part of the 2010 API Principles of Parenting blog carnival, a series of monthly parenting blog carnivals, hosted by API Speaks. Learn more about attachment parenting by visiting the API website.
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