Attachment parenting is a parenting style first named and popularized by Dr. William Sears and his wife Martha Sears. Based on the attachment theory of child development, this parenting style focuses on building and maintaining strong emotional bonds between child and parents.
Parents who use attachment parenting focus on being highly responsive and attentive to their children’s needs. Bonds are maintained by physical and emotional closeness. Parents are encouraged to hold their infants in their arms, or closely in a sling, so that the child is near the parent’s body. Breastfeeding and co-sleeping are also encouraged to maintain the parent-child bonds. Dr. Sears put together a list of seven tools that attachment parenting contains, called the Baby B’s. These tools include ideas such as birth bonding, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, and bed-sharing.
Although there are a basic set of ideals for attachment parenting, many parents emphasize that this style of parenting is certainly not about using a checklist. The list of attachment parenting tools are meant to be helpful advice for parents to follow, however these ideals do not make attachment parenting alone.
“This list is essentially seven tools that can help parents to foster attachment with their babies,”says Anne of PhD in Parenting. “You do not have to do all seven of these to be an attached parent and you can do all seven of them and not be an attached parent. The seven B’s are a toolbox that can make attachment parenting easier. It is easier to use a drill than a screwdriver in many instances, but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible to do the same job with a screwdriver or that it isn’t preferable in some circumstances, but it probably will require more effort and more time.”
Attachment Parenting International focuses instead on their own list of eight principles to help define what attachment parenting is. These principles focus on mutual respect, gentleness, and an importance of parental bonds. Responding to their child’s needs consistently creates trust and enables a child to thrive according to parents who practice attachment parenting. Leaving infants to cry or self-sooth is generally frowned upon.
Amy Gates of Crunchy Domestic Goddess writes, “I believe in responding to my baby’s cries. I believe that babies cry because they have a need that is not being met – either they are hungry, uncomfortable (wet, too cold, too warm), or they simply need comforting and reassurance. I believe that meeting their needs helps them to develop into emotionally secure children. I’ve seen it work with Ava. When babies aren’t spending their energy on crying and seeking attention, they can use that energy to grow and thrive.”
Above all, attachment parenting is about nurturing the bonds between parents and child by meeting needs and encouraging closeness. Part understanding of new psychological development in children, part organic parenting tools, attachment parenting is one way for parents to care for their child while cultivating a strong attachment and understanding.
photo credit: *clairity*
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